Membership: 1
America's newest political party

Not Red.
Not Blue.
Green.

The Me Party started with one member. Now there are 1. One platform: your family, your values, your life. One color: the color of the American Dream.

Join the Party · Become Member #2 Get the hat Read the idea

Every member gets the official card. Free with any merch, or just cover the postage.

The Me Party seal: I'm With Me
Green cap embroidered Mind Your Own Business

The official hat. Green, like money. Mind Your Own Business, because yours is the one worth minding.

The Idea (not an ideology)

I'm done picking a team.

I don't like the Republicans. I don't like the Democrats. I don't think either one of them wakes up in the morning thinking about my family, my health, my business or my bank account. So I'm starting a party that does.

It's a party of one household. You and the people at your table. You can agree with the left on one thing and the right on another, and you don't owe anybody an explanation. You don't have to adopt a whole menu just because you liked one item.

Politics became entertainment. Pick a jersey, boo the other side, tune in tomorrow for the next episode. No thanks. I'd rather worry about what I can actually control: how I treat people, how I raise my kids, how hard I work, and how much I keep.

I love this country. I believe in the American Dream, because I've lived it. Doing the right thing the way you were raised, standing by your values when it costs you, taking care of your own, and building something they can inherit is not selfish. It's the whole point.

"Worry about what you can control. Do the right thing. Take care of your family. Keep your word. Make money. There's nothing wrong with any of that." — Founding member, member #1
✓ Not left. Not right. Forward.
✓ Opinions on both sides. Loyalty to neither.
✓ Allowed to change your mind. Encouraged, even.
✓ No rallies. We have work in the morning.
✓ No donations. Keep your money. Spend it on your family. That's the platform.
The Petition

Fed up? Join the party. Show your support.

Add your name to the declaration and you're a member. That's it. No dues, no donation page, no calls at dinner. Your name says one thing: I'm done with the team sport. My family, my values and my life come first. This is my party now.

A Declaration of Independence
From Both of Them

We, the undersigned, are fed up. We did not sign up for a team sport. We are not red. We are not blue. We will not pick a side so a cable network can keep score.

We hereby declare our independence from both parties and our membership in a party of one household: ourselves, our families, and the values we were raised on.

We will think for ourselves on every issue, one at a time. We will take care of our health, our families, and our businesses before we take care of anyone's news cycle. We will raise our kids on our values, not a network's. We will make money and keep what we can, without apologizing. We will love this country out loud, and mind our own business the rest of the time.

Not red. Not blue. Green. Signed, me and mine.

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Our promise: we will never sell, share, rent or trade your information. Joining puts you on no list. No emails, no texts, no fundraising, no robocalls. The only way you ever hear from us is if you check the newsletter box, and even then it's a few times a year with one-click unsubscribe. Your name shows as first name and last initial. Your email never shows anywhere.

Newest members

Be the first name on the list.
The Card

Get the official Me Party card.

A real plastic card for your wallet. Your name. Your member number. Member since 2026, the founding class. Pull it out when someone asks which side you're on.

Official Me Party membership card, front Official Me Party membership card, back
1

Buy any merch, get the card free

Order a hat, a shirt, a mug, anything. Your card ships in the box with your member number already on it.

Free with any order
2

Join free, we mail it to you

Not ready for the hat? Join the party above, check the box for the card, and we'll mail it. You cover the postage. That's it.

Just postage, about $3
Real plasticCredit-card sizeYour member numberMember since 2026Expires: never
Hand holding the Me Party card on a porch
Present when asked which side you're on.
Me Party card in a wallet
Lives next to your license. Carries more weight.
No knockoffs.

Every official card is numbered and comes only from us, in the box or in the mail. If it came from a marketplace with free two-day shipping, it isn't a membership. It's a piece of plastic.

Get my card
Man on a porch wearing a green Mind Your Own Business cap, American flag behind him
Porch. Coffee. Flag. Mind your own business.
The Platform

Five planks. All of them yours.

Other parties have a 90-page platform nobody reads. Ours fits on a hat, and every plank is already in your house.

01

My Health

Nobody in Washington is going to the gym for you. Sleep, move, eat like an adult. Be around for the people who need you.

02

My Wealth

Earn it, keep it, grow it, pass it on. Green is the color of this party for a reason. Your household's economy is the one that matters.

03

My Family

The only approval rating that counts is at the dinner table. Show up. Raise them with your values, not a network's. Be the person your kids think you are.

04

My Business

Build something. Hire somebody. Pay your people. Make a profit without apologizing for it.

05

My Country

Love it. Fly the flag. Teach your kids why. Expect it to be great and act like it. Patriotism is not a party. It's a family value.

Foreign policy: mind your own business. Domestic policy: also mind your own business.

Slogans

Things you can put on a hat.

A play on the red hats, the blue signs and the entire cable news lineup.

Make Me Great Again Mind Your Own Business Not Red. Not Blue. Green. I'm With Me Party of One Pick an Issue, Not a Side Left? Right? Forward. Vote For Yourself. Every Day. I Can Change My Mind. It's Allowed. The Only Poll That Matters Is My Bank Account Independent of Both Less Cable News. More Cash Flow. My House. My Rules. My Vote. Term Limits Start at Home Paid For By Me. Obviously.
Acronyms

Every party needs letters.

Theirs mean nothing. Ours mean exactly what they say.

MYOB
Mind Your Own Business

The founding principle. Also the hat. Also what your grandmother told you.

MMGA
Make Me Great Again

The only "great again" project you actually have control over.

G.O.M.
Grand Old Me

Like the G.O.P., but the elephant is you and you're not forgetting anything.

D.N.C.
Do Not Care

Our official position on who said what on which network last night.

P.A.C.
Personal Action Committee

Membership: one. Budget: whatever you decide. Meetings: in the shower.

M.E.
Mine. Earned.

Two words that describe everything in the house. The shortest platform in American history.

The Store

Official Me Party Merch

Green, because it's the color of the dream you're building for your family. Everything below is a prototype. Prices are suggestions. Like most campaign promises.

FlagshipGreen MYOB hatQuick add

The MYOB Hat

Money green. White block letters. Fits every head, unlike the other two parties.

$29
Green Make Me Great Again hatQuick add

MMGA Hat

You know the hat. This is the version about the one person you can actually improve.

$29
Party of One t-shirtQuick add

Party of One Tee

Heavyweight cotton. Comes in one size: yours.

$25
Not Red Not Blue Green t-shirtQuick add

Not Red. Not Blue. Tee

Start a conversation at Thanksgiving. Then end it.

$25
Best sellerI Voted For Me stickersQuick add

"I Voted For Me" Stickers

Pack of 20. Wear one every day. It's always election day somewhere.

$5
The Platform doormatQuick add

"The Platform" Doormat

Finally, a party platform you can stand on. Wipe your feet. Leave the opinions outside.

$35
Campaign Finance piggy bankQuick add

"Campaign Finance" Piggy Bank

100% of donations go directly to the candidate. The candidate is you.

$22
Term Limits kitchen timerQuick add

"Term Limits" Kitchen Timer

Set it for anything that isn't working. When it rings, it's gone. Applies to habits, meetings and arguments.

$18
I Changed My Mind flip-flopsQuick add

Official Flip-Flops

Changed your mind? Good. That's called thinking. Wear them proudly.

$20
Mind Your Own Business mugQuick add

MYOB Mug

Fill with coffee. Not opinions. Dishwasher safe. Debate proof.

$16
End Debate buttonQuick add

"The Debate" Button

Big green desk button. Press to end any political conversation. Works at the bar, works at the barbecue.

$24
FreeOfficial Me Party member cardQuick add

Official Member Card

Real plastic. Your name, your member number, Member since 2026. Free in the box with any order, or mailed for the cost of a stamp.

Free w/ orderGet the card

Nothing is for sale yet. The cart is a joke. The idea isn't. If you'd actually buy one of these, say so below.

The Logo

They have a donkey and an elephant.

We need something iconic, funny, and serious enough for the people who get the joke. Here are the concepts on the table. Pick your favorite. This is the only election we're holding.

Current pickI'm With Me logo concept

I'm With Me

The pick, for now. The hand that points at the only candidate it trusts.

Eagle, Party of One logo concept

Eagle, Party of One

The national bird switched parties. He's wearing the hat.

Eagle, MYOB logo concept

Eagle, MYOB

Same eagle, different ring. Mind your own business, in gold.

The Mascot logo concept

The Mascot

Every party gets an animal. Ours drinks coffee and doesn't go to rallies.

The Monogram logo concept

The Monogram

ME, with the star doing the work. Hat side, favicon, mug.

I Want Me logo concept

I Want Me

The most famous poster in American politics, pointed the other way.

I Want Me (smug) logo concept

I Want Me (smug)

Same idea, a little more pleased with himself.

The Seal logo concept

The Seal

Est. You. For the membership card and anything that needs to look official.

Do Not Care logo concept

Do Not Care

The D.N.C. mascot. Unbothered. Possibly a bear.

Party of One logo concept

Party of One

One star, one person, one tiny crown.

The Porch logo concept

The Porch

Rocking chair, flag, business minded. All of it yours.

Your Candidate logo concept

Your Candidate

Look in the mirror. That's the ticket.

One vote per logo per person. Votes are anonymous unless you leave your name in the form below.

The Pledge

Membership is free. It's you and yours.

No dues. No meetings. No list you didn't ask for. You join by signing the declaration above, and your whole house comes with you. 1 have so far. Here's the pledge:

  • I will worry about what I can control and let the rest go.
  • I will have my own opinion on every issue, and I will not check which team it belongs to first.
  • I will take care of my health, my family and my business before I take care of a cable news cycle.
  • I will live by the values I was raised on and pass them down, whether or not they are trending.
  • I will make money, keep as much as I can, provide for my family, and feel fine about it.
  • I will love my country out loud and mind my own business the rest of the time.
Me Party official membership card
Member: Your Name Here
Your Thoughts

Is this stupid or is this great?

It's a joke. It's also a little bit not a joke. Tell me what you think, which slogan you'd actually wear, and what's missing.